Do you ever find yourself surrounded by people yet feel so alone?
Have you ever referred to someone as your friend but as you speak the words “my friend” it just doesn’t taste right, you wonder are they a friend?
Have you ever prayed God send someone my way just so I can have someone to trust in, confide in, someone to encourage and some to help encourage?
I have. I do.
For the past few years I stand in a place surrounded by people, surrounded by smiles, handshakes and hellos but all the while I know that is it. Would I confess my most inner thoughts to these people who are claimed friends? Do I trust them with my hurts, frustrations, deep thoughts? When someone says hi how are you today, I answer correctly, “I am well and you?”. Am I well?
I am screaming on the inside. Wondering why people have backstabbed, wondering why people have left, wondering where those people that I once could speak freely and openly to have gone? Then I yell, Why God? Why do I feel like that one small tree separated from the forest or that single flower in the midst of a field of grass? Why is it that no matter if I try I just don’t fit.
Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time for everything,
“a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.”
Ecclesiastes 3:2-8
Our journey with God is never pointless, there is always something to be learned while we walk with Him, after all he is our teacher!
What does a time to be alone mean? Does it mean we need to seek Him more, pray more, fast more, read more? Does it mean we need to step out of our comfort zone; let Him change us and lead us to new things and places?
I honestly do not know what it means, but I know whether on the mountain top or in the valley God is always there.
Lord, I pray that if anyone reading this feels alone or feels in a time of transition and uncomfort that you would meet them there. Remind them that they are your child and you have not left them there. I pray they would find peace, that they would be able to see the sun rising over the mountain. Give them an assurance that though this time may be rough and not something they had visioned that there is victory and strength for those that will seek you and push forward.
In Jesus name I pray,